as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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