Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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