The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
