i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
