I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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