dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point đź’ś
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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