I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
