Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
