Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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