I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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