I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize