Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
