It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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