I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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