I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
