READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
