OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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