the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Come on in and take your pants off
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