I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
