Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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