1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
