That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
