Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize