At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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