Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize