so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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