oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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