we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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