you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
