your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
