I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
