so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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