how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
