the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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