she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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