oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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