All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
