hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Holy shit dude........stairs
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
