so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
