I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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