So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
