How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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