No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
