Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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