Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
