Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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