Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(903): View more from Texas

I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.

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(903): I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion. http://tfl.nu/pxq1

Replies (15) Good night (757) Bad night (1980)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.

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(678): Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol. http://tfl.nu/nnbo

Replies (7) Good night (1145) Bad night (2252)
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(587): View more from Alberta

His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?

(780): View more from Alberta, CA

You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?

(587): View more from Alberta

She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.

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(587): His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl? (780): You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus? (587): She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass. http://tfl.nu/i4m5

Replies (68) Good night (2385) Bad night (4594)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

oh fat girl friday strikes again...

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(724): oh fat girl friday strikes again... http://tfl.nu/rgt0

Replies (60) Good night (844) Bad night (4377)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that

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(860): And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that http://tfl.nu/ubil

Replies (37) Good night (2419) Bad night (6609)
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(440): View more from Ohio

We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.

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(440): We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate. http://tfl.nu/v1r2

Replies (9) Good night (1683) Bad night (4361)
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(416): View more from Toronto

I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.

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(416): I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock. http://tfl.nu/lwgf

Replies (14) Good night (3356) Bad night (1333)
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(239): View more from Florida

you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.

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(239): you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now. http://tfl.nu/uslm

Replies (1) Good night (3042) Bad night (796)
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(914): View more from New York

Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.

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(914): Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night. http://tfl.nu/nj6b

Replies (3) Good night (2234) Bad night (585)
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(850): View more from Florida

Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.

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(850): Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again. http://tfl.nu/pnzj

Replies (1) Good night (1965) Bad night (952)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.

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(937): I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem. http://tfl.nu/odx7

Replies (22) Good night (1523) Bad night (514)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.

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(484): dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow. http://tfl.nu/dkso

Replies (7) Good night (1381) Bad night (512)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls

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(215): i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls http://tfl.nu/liuo

Replies (5) Good night (708) Bad night (330)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.

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(256): Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl. http://tfl.nu/7wpk

Replies (6) Good night (546) Bad night (404)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.

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(814): I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's. http://tfl.nu/kzl8

Replies (4) Good night (596) Bad night (324)

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