Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(607): View more from New York

It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.

(1-607): View more from New York

I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey

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(650): View more from California

I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I too understand the importance of cheesy bread

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(813): View more from Florida

I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
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(513): View more from Ohio

i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world

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(815): View more from Illinois

I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.

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(845): View more from New York

You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.

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(586): View more from Michigan

We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.

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(614): View more from Ohio

THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT

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