It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT