finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine