Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party

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(310): View more from California

My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.

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(251): View more from Alabama

I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.

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(757): View more from Virginia

He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat

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(310): View more from California

So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager

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(704): View more from North Carolina

For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.

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