When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
