He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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