yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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