Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
