Sacagawea was the original milf.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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