**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
