He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
