I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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