That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
