Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
