I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
