I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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