My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
