You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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