grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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